It could be the blatant hook-up culture on Tinder that means conversations are initiated immediately, but I think it’s more likely that on Tinder, you’re not expected to put actual effort in
As a somewhat experienced online dater, how did my venture into Hinge compare to other apps? Well within minutes of my first conversation on the app, I’d been invited to Lisbon for a first date – all expenses paid. ‘Is this a great start or am I accidently venturing into escorting?’ I thought to myself. My next few conversations with matches were very classic small-talk, ‘How’s it going?’ being the opening line of choice for manypared to Tinder, that was still much better than the peach or cheeky monkey emoji openers I usually get. Yes, really – nothing like a single emoji from a stranger to spark true love.
On that note though, one wild development I found was that the women on Hinge are actually much more like the Tinder lads I’m used to. For reference, my male Tinder matches almost always start the conversation writers dating site commenting on my body, whereas the women tend more towards a nice, simple, ‘How are you?’. On Hinge however, that’s flipped on its head. Where the men would more often open with a question or at least ‘Hello’, the women would rush straight to point out my best physical feature. One literally opened with ‘Ass’. Oh, thanks Stephanie – not really sure where we go from here but great compliment nonetheless.
Why have women become the LADSLADSLADS of Hinge? I honestly couldn’t tell you. Perhaps it’s just that the pool of women who date women on Hinge seems larger – in comparison to my Tinder experience – and so i’m subject to more f * ckgirls. However, the positive takeaway there is that for the bisexual and pansexual communities, Hinge seems to show me equally as many women as men compared to Tinder (where I see one woman for about every tenth man.)
Bumble was very much the same as Tinder in that sense, in my experience, but on the bright side I haven’t had anywhere near as many peach emojis from either women or men on that app.
But in terms of starting an actual conversation after matching, Bumble and Hinge are on par: matching does not always equal conversation on either of them. Tinder, however, is basically a match to conversation guarantee. I take full blame for the lack of conversation on Bumble, since you know I’m the one that’s meant to start the conversation (for my male matches) and I’m often too disinterested to come up with a decent opener. However, Hinge is an equal playing field, and I’ve found more matches than ever will ghost as soon as you leave them to initiate conversation.
Hinge and Bumble, you need to think before you speak, and how many of us on online dating apps are actually on there to start a relationship? Are most of us not just passing the time during the boring parts of a Netflix binge, or boosting our egos after failing to pull IRL on Saturday night?
How does Hinge most compatible work?
Perhaps this general indifference, or despair at meeting someone actually decent within a 10-mile radius of your home, is why Hinge introduced their ‘most compatible’ feature. Intended to push you towards those you’re more inclined to like, this feature uses a Nobel-Prize-winning algorithm (for a service to shagging I can only assume), that learns from users’ preferences through their liking and passing activity, and pairs them with those who they best align. When you’re paired with someone, you appear at the top of their feed as you do theirs. It’s a nice idea, but also means if you don’t like their profile you’re probably living in denial about what’s good for you and destined to failed romance. not to get super dark about it.
